My dear, the sun is out;
Let’s you and I become a storm
And with our fingers push them all about
The sea, those creatures of the deep which form
A dizzy dream until it is our wont to sleep.
The stars have crowned your head, your
Eyes are winking clouds below your brow,
The moon. Four windy arms will smooth the shore,
East, West, North, South: A bed of sand—until we laugh and blow
Our tiny lighthouse candles out.
And, crashing there, we sigh
And grow still; until—until
In our death we share a living breath, and as we die
This hurricane is you and I.
I really like this one. There's a lot of similar sounds, and it's neat the way they're throughout the entire poem (as opposed to being one line for D-sounds, another line for long-E-sounds, and so on). Also, have you read any Patricia Smith? I just started her book called Blood Dazzler last night, and your poem reminds me of a few of hers. (That might be because hers are about the time right around Hurricane Katrina...but it's also the way your speaker is relating to the hurricane. It's hard to explain. I'll just show you the book later.)
ReplyDeleteA hurricane sonnet that calls to mind "To His Coy MIstress"and maybe Eliot too ("Let us go then you and I...") both for this address but also for the occasional high and antiquated diction ("My dear," "our wont"). Revise these into your own language and see what you think. I like the eyes winking clouds and windy arms. More about the naming, the alphabet?
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